featherduster | ( limelight ) overflow

[ He reaches for Frost's hand ]

Don't.

[he lets Aloe take it, but presses both their hands to his own face to a moment, Aloe’s knuckles against his brow. his breath is the slightest bit unsteady.]

[ Low ]

It's alright.

Wish I could fix it.

[that’s true of a lot of things.

he steadies after a little of that, though; the pressure of Aloe’s hand in his, his breaths deep and deliberately even]

I think... we did, didn't we?

At least-- we both know we were wrapped up in misunderstandings back then. It would've been different, if we'd just understood each other.

I thought…

[a tiny laugh, not precisely happy]

You were always so…good, with other people. It drove me nuts that I couldn’t figure out how to make you look at me like that.

I think, if I look back on all of it... I hated that you didn't like me. I didn't know how to deal with not being liked in my "fake, normal" life, since that was the only place I could have that kind of thing. It was easier to double down on grudges and anger, and decide the problem was all you. You were wrong for not liking me, a guy treating you in a very unlikable way.

[ Softly, chagrined ]

... I'm not quite that stupid anymore.

When I tried to invite you to my bar opening, ages ago, I wanted you to see…that people liked me too. That there was something worth liking.

It’s a little funny. All that effort, and we both had no idea we were that little distance away from each other in our underground lives, too.

Edited 2025-05-20 02:01 (UTC)

I'm alright with that part, at least. I... wouldn't want you to have known me like that.

…

It hasn’t bothered me particularly. Even if I mostly didn’t get my own hands dirty, I still stood in the same mess.

Still...

[ He looks away, the next part hesitant. Like he's not sure if he should give voice to it. ]

I've wondered a few times-- whether Charon would be disgusted by 'Aloe,' compared to the man he knows. He was... better.

[he gives it the visible thought Aloe seems to think it deserves, even though he knows the answer]

The truth is that “Charon” was much worse than “Aloe,” in many ways. Don’t—tell me I’m being too hard on him this time. He knew exactly what he was and he wanted to be what he was.

[ He doesn't argue the point, since he doesn't actually disagree ]

Maybe, but... he fell in love with someone very unlike himself. That couldn't be an accident.

[ He shrugs, a little lopsided since Frost still has his hand ]

It doesn't matter now. It's just- something I think about, sometimes.

You’re not as different from “Minuet” as you think, either. And “Charon” is as greedy as I am.

Rather than being disgusted, he’d just want both.

[ That startles a laugh out of him ]

That's comforting, actually.

I guess it might be.

He’s a lot less of a coward than me, about wanting things like that.

[ A small smile ]

I think you've been pretty brave, in-between a couple fits of cowardice.

Trying to unlearn bad habits.

[a tiny quirk of his mouth]

Now you don’t have to worry about Charon’s opinion, at least.

Edited 2025-05-20 02:48 (UTC)

Mm. Only yours.

I want them both, too.

As much as I can have, I want it.

I'd say you've already succeeded at that.

[Frost’s breath hitches, visibly]

And you? What do you want?

[ He looks surprised ]

It's not obvious?

I don’t…want to make any more assumptions about anything. Even if it seems obvious.

[ He sets the drink aside so he can loop his arm with Frost's ]

Well, I want all three.

Thankfully, as you've said, all three are right here. As long as they'll have me, anyway.

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture

Re: cw gore, torture