featherduster | ( limelight ) overflow

[ He frowns, turning that over in his head ]

What was it that mattered? He was fighting for the fate of the world, wasn't he?

He wrote off his family relationships for the bigger picture, unnecessarily.

And in another world, all that foresight and planning didn't stop him from fucking up enough to kill Minuet and Lethe.

Maybe it's stupid, but it's just...if you're going to kill two hundred people and start a bunch of wars for the bigger picture, at least preserve your own, you know?

[ His expression flickers at the mention of Minuet and Lethe ]

Mmm.

I guess maybe we're both holding ourselves to impossible standards.

Are mine so impossible, if he'd tried...?

Well, it's not like I can do anything about it right now.

[ Gently, but with emphasis ]

He was possessed.

"Not trying" doesn't seem like a factor.

If he had experience with demons, shouldn't he have known how to avoid such a thing?

Respectfully, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

I know a lot about guns, but I sure get fuckin' shot a lot.

You still got shot significantly less with protective gear and planning, didn’t you? You had the wits to hide behind a vault door, not stand in the middle of the sidewalk for a firefight.

[ His expression quickly cycles from surprised to dismayed to chagrined, in short order. But he doesn't address it directly ]

... It was a performance, wasn't it? We know how that kind of thing goes when it comes to avoiding punishments.

I didn't blame him then. You can't convince me to blame him now.

Maybe you’re right.

It’s hard not to think he could have done more, though. But perhaps this is a case of hindsight being perfect, even across lifetimes, or worlds. Or whatever visions are supposed to contain.

Well.

At least try to reserve judgement until you know more of what came before, and after. I quite like that guy, y'know?

[takes Aloe’s nearer hand to hold, whether it’s flesh or metal]

Would you do likewise? Reserve judgement on that man in his desert?

[ He look down at their joined hands, expression softening a little ]

... I'm trying.

I might've been tempted to just not watch the visions otherwise.

[runs a gentle thumb over Aloe’s knuckles]

You told me it felt wrong not to keep doing so, near the start. Have they been scaring you that much more?

[ His lips press thin for a moment while he contemplates his answer ]

... Have you ever read a book and thought, "there aren't that many chapters left, there's no way they can fix all this before the end"? Like knowing a sad ending is coming, it's inevitable, and dreading it.

It's like that.

…

Did you know they spent a day in each others’ skins, those two men?

[ Top ten most unhinged responses ]

Literally?

Literally.

Mine learned yours was dying, that way. How to use the arm, too.

[ Opens his mouth --

Closes it ]

That sounds... horrible? --For you, I mean.

Not . . . really . . .?

Well, it wasn't great to learn Minuet was dying, but the rest was fine.

[ He almost asks "he didn't tell you?" before realizing how stupid that question is ]

Not everyone would be so okay with...

[ Just. Makes a vague, expansive gesture at the whole of himself ]

He thought it was...

[thinks about what to call it. what he himself feels, when he watches the feathers unfurl from Minuet's skin]

...wonderful. I don't mean that he didn't see the complications, the hurt. But still...

[ Unable to meet Frost's eyes all of a sudden ]

... And, you?

On that point, he and I are in perfect agreement.

And for all his other flaws, I don't think that other me would have left that place without looking for a way to save him.

[ There's embarrassment in his expression, but something warm and private, too ]

It wasn't his job to worry about that. But I agree.

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