featherduster | ( limelight ) overflow

Mm.

The ones I didn’t already see mostly…had to do with your upbringing.

[ He sets his drink down briefly, mostly just to scrub both hands over his face ]

Well, that's-- unfortunate.

I’m sorry. It’s…

I’m glad you all left, one way or another. You and your brother and our mutual friend.

[ It's a stupid question to ask now, after everything, but something compels him to ask it anyway ]

You don't think less of us, after whatever you saw?

I saw a session of your training and punishment, and much later, when you received the assignment for Eugene.

Why would I think less of you? You didn’t wander eyes wide open into that life. You were molded by the ones who raised you, and they wanted weapons, not sons and daughters.

[ His face does something funny, before sliding into some semblance of neutral ]

... That's generous of you.

[shrugs]

In some ways it's not that different from how that other me grew up, I think. Just--more to the point.

Yes.

I just -- remember your disgust at him.

It wasn't because he was a weapon.

...

What?

I don't love getting that mindset put in my head, but...my business isn't exactly sparkling clean either. I'm not squeamish about that kind of thing.

[hand gestures loosely]

I was disgusted because he failed to use himself to protect what actually mattered to him.

[ He frowns, turning that over in his head ]

What was it that mattered? He was fighting for the fate of the world, wasn't he?

He wrote off his family relationships for the bigger picture, unnecessarily.

And in another world, all that foresight and planning didn't stop him from fucking up enough to kill Minuet and Lethe.

Maybe it's stupid, but it's just...if you're going to kill two hundred people and start a bunch of wars for the bigger picture, at least preserve your own, you know?

[ His expression flickers at the mention of Minuet and Lethe ]

Mmm.

I guess maybe we're both holding ourselves to impossible standards.

Are mine so impossible, if he'd tried...?

Well, it's not like I can do anything about it right now.

[ Gently, but with emphasis ]

He was possessed.

"Not trying" doesn't seem like a factor.

If he had experience with demons, shouldn't he have known how to avoid such a thing?

Respectfully, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

I know a lot about guns, but I sure get fuckin' shot a lot.

You still got shot significantly less with protective gear and planning, didn’t you? You had the wits to hide behind a vault door, not stand in the middle of the sidewalk for a firefight.

[ His expression quickly cycles from surprised to dismayed to chagrined, in short order. But he doesn't address it directly ]

... It was a performance, wasn't it? We know how that kind of thing goes when it comes to avoiding punishments.

I didn't blame him then. You can't convince me to blame him now.

Maybe you’re right.

It’s hard not to think he could have done more, though. But perhaps this is a case of hindsight being perfect, even across lifetimes, or worlds. Or whatever visions are supposed to contain.

Well.

At least try to reserve judgement until you know more of what came before, and after. I quite like that guy, y'know?

[takes Aloe’s nearer hand to hold, whether it’s flesh or metal]

Would you do likewise? Reserve judgement on that man in his desert?

[ He look down at their joined hands, expression softening a little ]

... I'm trying.

I might've been tempted to just not watch the visions otherwise.

[runs a gentle thumb over Aloe’s knuckles]

You told me it felt wrong not to keep doing so, near the start. Have they been scaring you that much more?

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